i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
