Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
