Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
