pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
