we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
