i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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