I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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