For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
