2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
