Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
