i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
