So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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