i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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