Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
