i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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