Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
