Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
