i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
