Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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