so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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