well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
