So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
