Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
