Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
