What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
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