I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
