my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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