who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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