haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
