i barfeds in our rink
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
