i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
