my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
