umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
