Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
