At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
