The maid of honor just puked.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
