The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
