you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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