the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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