it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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