Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
