I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
