just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
