Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
