there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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