Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Quick, to the slutcave!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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