I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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