we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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