Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
