Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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