Swine flu. Run for my life!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
